I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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