Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
