yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
