I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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