He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
