If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
