I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
