She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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