I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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