Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
