you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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