theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
