dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
