Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
