Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
