You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
