I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
