12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
