I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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