found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
now i know why i became what i already was.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
