Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I lost the right to judge tonight
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
