Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
