Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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