Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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