You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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