That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
