so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
