So gin and wine won't be happening again
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
