real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
