When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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