I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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