Me. At least after what I've been through.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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