So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
