the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
PANTIES FOUND
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