I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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