I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
