Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
