She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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