You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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