Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
