are you still at the devil's house?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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