can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
