u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
