Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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