You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Floor bacon is actually really good
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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