You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
