you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
