Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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