Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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