I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
