I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
